A Filipino tradition
Our own version of the Olympics
Every three years, we hold this interesting tradition in the Philippines where we lament about criminals getting government seats and then doing totally nothing about it.
Some highlights of the month-long feast include:
📌 A rap battle where we insult each other to no end and the person who speaks the most ad hominem in under an hour wins.
Criteria for judging include:
(1) Quality of the ad hominems — 50%
(2) Comicality of the ad hominems — 30%
(3) Number of likes and shares — 20%
📌 A virtue signaling competition where contestants sit on a high horse while making moral convictions that fellate our dull Kantian sensibilities.
Criteria for judging include:
(1) Appeal to our boring Judeo-Christian values — 50%
(2) Monotony — 20%
(3) Drama quality — 20%
(3) Number of likes and shares — 10%
📌 A pageant of losing politicians where grieving supporters parade their credentials and educational background to justify why everyone else is dumb for exercising their democratic right to pick their own candidates.
Note: No clear criteria for judging, but for a politician to qualify, he or she must have “Aquino asslicking” as a special skill in his or her resume.
We, then, wait for another three years to repeat the entire process.
The tradition has been controversial in the recent years due to adequate scienfific evidence demonstrating its correlation to the rising depression and suicide rate of woke university students, and the increase of our collective blood pressure.
While a proposal to revamp the system that cultivates such tradition (i.e., the shift to a federal-parliamentary system) has been put forward, the Filipino culture of incrementalism and fatalism continues to be an obstacle.
