Regine Velasquez and the South China Sea dispute
Political analyst Regine Velasquez finally breaks her silence about the South China Sea conflict, much to the astonishment of the entire world.
Mearsheimer, Fukuyama and Wendt were reported to have committed collective suicide over the realization of their utter incompetence in resolving the dispute; while Gramsci’s remains were caught shaking in his communist grave in disbelief. Taleb calls it a “black swan event akin to the French revolution” while Trump has reached out to Velasquez to “pick her brain on how to make America great again”.
May is now on her way to Quezon City to seek Regine’s policy advice on finally brokering a compromise amongst the British MPs on Brexit. In New York, the UN General Assembly has formally called for an emergency summit due to the momentousness of this occasion. Velasquez is set to open the high-level meeting with a performance of her magnum opus, “Dadalhin”.
The Department of Foreign Affairs will conduct an emergency meeting first thing in the morning in the aftermath of this milestone. It is reported that Philippine foreign policy will be recalibrated based on the geopolitical wisdom of Asia’s Songbird to resolve the decades-long strife which not even the best IR scholars and philosophers in the world have been able to redress in a very, very long time.
Reportedly, Philippine foreign policy will now be anchored on four pillars:
- preservation and enhancement of national security;
- protection of the rights and promotion of the welfare of overseas Filipinos;
- promotion and attainment of economic security; and
- protection of clams.
The President is also set to sign an executive order officially designating this day as “National Magic Sing Karaoke Day” to pay respect to Velasquez’s contribution to the field of International Relations and lasting peace in Asia and the world.
N.B.
I love Regine. Will always be a fan [of her music]. But a little humor doesn’t hurt.
